She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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