is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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