my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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