i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize