I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize