...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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