so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize