Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize