I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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