Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What a dumb baby whore.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize