You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize