Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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