Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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