I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize