I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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