I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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