i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize