I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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