DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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