He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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