Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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