he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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