If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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