good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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