Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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