Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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