just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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