i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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