I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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