I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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