just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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