i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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