haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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