I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize