I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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