If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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