I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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