No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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