What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
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