Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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