so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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