don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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