two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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