never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize