So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize