a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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