True but thats because hes a fetus.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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