He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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