There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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