i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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